In the olden days every small local paper had police reports, usually basic information, dry as a bone.

Some years ago while vacationing we were in Morro Bay California and as always I bought a local paper that had a “police blotter.”

I had never seen anything like it.

Last week we returned to Morro Bay and I looked in the local paper. They still have it.

I’ll just give you a couple examples.

“Police responded at 9 p.m. where some weapons grade moron had committed felony vandalism.”

“Police spotted a suspicious driver and arrested the apparent swizzle stick for being stirred in public.”

It goes on and on, all out wit and biting humor.

I’ll give you one more.

“Police responded to a report of someone using offensive words in a public place. No word on whether they brought a bar of soap to the scene.”

Long may they run.