I watched the Oscars. Sort of.

I tape the show and watch Walking Dead and Homeland to not ever have to see a commercial.

But I miss a lot more.

I sometimes skip the opening but surprisingly Kimmel didn’t irritate me this time.

I watch all the acting awards and best movie and all the acceptance speeches unless

they begin speaking in no known language like Oldman.

I watch the craft nomination listings and then who actually won because I’m

interested in what movie won and if it is an indication of a trend. I never hear a word of acceptance from any of the winners.

I skip all the songs and would have the winner awarded at a “previous ceremony”. I don’t give a shit.

I watch the visuals honoring those who died last year but to show what shit for brains make Oscar decisions, they leave out a dozen known actors and actresses who died to share unknown industry people instead. And the show is for?

I skip past the compilation of scenes from past movies but I am mesmerized when people like the amazing Eva Marie Saint are allowed to be on stage and talk.

Did I watch the Oscars? In a little over an hour.

Did I miss anything?

Your kidding right?